I’m in a really awful mood and I just want a hug and I hate how I overreact to things and get really emotional about stupid shit. The meds I just finished taking made me have the worst mood swings and now I’m in such a rut and I just need someone to be here to make me feel better but I don’t want to seem needy like I constantly need someone with me but that’s how I’ve been feeling lately and it’s the worst I’ve felt in a while.
In class, I was thinking about a conversation I had about a month ago with this guy I liked an was good friends with. Then I realized that I couldn’t remember the whole convo because I had been really drunk that night so I started crying because I remember the conversation fondly but I can only remember like 3 sentences that were exchanged.
there’s this thing wrong with me where i get really depressed and i can’t feel happy unless i do something with my hair.
but hey, it’s better than cutting again.
i don’t think it’s necessarily that i’m not over him. it’s just that every time i end up thinking about him, it brings back all the sad feelings he gave me. like, i can’t get over how sad and upset he always made me, but i definitely don’t like him anymore.
wow ok i just want to get over my ex is that so much to ask for.
guys it’s kind of a big deal that i’m crying about school ending. not school ending, but just that i’m not going to see a lot of people who i grew up with ever again
Whenever people I barely know call me Lil, I pretty much wince in pain. It just bothers me because they barely know me or I’ve just met them and I have rarely spoken to them prior. It happened today when I went to talk to my school’s SAC and I could feel myself cringing. I barely even got to talk about what was wrong, so I need to do that tomorrow morning so I don’t have a panic attack during school. Oh, and my new manager does that, so I’m really not looking forward to Friday.
possibly one of the worst things ever is feeling like the people you love hate you.
There comes a moment where depression hits its lowest point. Then you become happy while still troubled with depression. Instead of being happy, you’re just stuck in the middle. You’re neutral and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t actually feel happy. You feel better, but it’s far from happy. It’s like you’re liquid drain cleaner. You’re at the lowest part of the scale, with a pH of 14. No matter what you are combined with an equal amount of, you can never become an acid. Even battery acid would just neutralize you, but you will never reach the other side of the scale.